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Entrances to Hell around the UK

Bill Masheen

Nr Keswick, Cumbria

As the Battle of Epping Forest neared its climax, Winston Churchill siezed a unique opportunity and actually managed to capture the devil with his bare hands. In the frantic struggle to escape, the devil bit off his own left arm before returning in a great fury to his underworld home via Bill Masheen. While he waited for the missing limb to grow back Satan made numerous phone calls to the British Government in a vain attempt to seek compensation. Bill Masheen repels wildlife for unknown reasons and emits clouds of thick black smoke in the early morning (approx 5am GMT).

Radiation trace: nil

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